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WHY I’M BETTER THAN YOU
I may sound arrogant but since everything turned upside down in early 2020 I’ve learnt so much more about who and what I am, so I’ve decided to be more honest with myself, as well as with those around me.
Everything has changed, there’s no doubt about that, and lockdowns really made us re-evaluate our priorities. For example, I’m lucky that I can work from home, so I was able to enjoy more time with my family and get to know my local area for once. I enjoyed having stuff delivered to be honest. Some days I had so many deliveries it felt like it was Christmas as I’d forgotten what I’d ordered most of the time. (Good job delivery drivers and supermarket staff can’t work from home though, haha!). I do enjoy my work, but I must say, it’s been nice not having to get up at 6am every morning. There’s no way I’ll go back to doing that every day.
So yes, it’s fair to say I’ve changed considerably and have a much better understanding of what life is really about, and how I compare with others.
Education
It’s not like I went to school wearing a top hat or anything but I like to think I had a decent enough education. My Comp was ok I guess, but I did have a great group of friends and they teach you everything you need to know in terms of how to survive normal life, so I’ve always felt pretty well prepared. To be honest, I find the sort of people who’ve had a so-called ‘proper’ education pretty hopeless when it comes to real life, don’t you think?
Social Media
I use it every day yes, but I don’t post my every waking moment on Facebook or Instagram, that’s for sure. And I certainly wouldn’t say I’m addicted. I only really use it to keep in touch with old friends, from school and that. Some of them, literally, post every blinking meal and every time they step out the front door, and I hardly ever do that! Oh, and my TikTok videos are just for laughs really, although I do get quite a few likes.
Lifestyle
I’m not fanatical about it but I do try different diets on and off, like cutting down on meat or sugar for a bit. I’m pretty good at sticking to the rules, mostly, but when I go out with my friends, like on a Friday night after work, all that good intention goes out the window, I’m afraid. But I work hard, so I think that’s fair enough. I’m definitely not sedentary all day so I’m reasonably fit I reckon, although I do have a weakness for carbs. I do love my pasta. If pressed I’d say I was an ‘everything in moderation’ type. That’s pretty good isn’t it?
The Pandemic
I’m sick of hearing about it to be honest but it was scary, certainly at the beginning. Last year I used to pass the shopping to Dad on the end of a broom handle for god’s sake! But you can’t go on like that forever can you? I wouldn’t say I was terrified but it certainly was worrying. Still is! I do wear a mask when I have to, because like Tesco says ‘every little helps!’ Some of the rules do seem crazy though, like it’s ok to take it off when you’re sitting in a restaurant but not when you go to the loo. I’m sure those in charge know what they’re doing though, don’t they?
It was shocking to see those pictures though. The hordes of people on the beaches, at the football and those festivals, none of them wearing a mask! Ridiculous at a time like this. I mean, I enjoy a good time along with the best of them, but I guess some people are just born irresponsible.
The Environment
Yes, it’s very worrying. It’s obvious something has to be done, isn’t it? I mean, something’s changing what with all those fires in Greece and California and everywhere. Seems like there’s extreme weather events happening somewhere every day now. And yes, I accept I might have to pay more tax, if it will help. But frankly, if the super rich just paid their fair share, instead of hiding it away in all these offshore banks, that would be probably solve it, wouldn’t it? I mean, they’re flying all over the place in their private planes and stuff and yet, you wait, it’ll be ordinary, hard working people like me who’ll have to foot the bill. Pay your fair share, that’s all I ask.
All in all I think I do my bit, certainly more than most. I recycle everything possible, and wash everything before it goes in the blue bin, which is more than most people. I use those hessian carrier bags as often as I can and try and buy the most sustainable things at the supermarket. Local produce whenever it’s available, but it’s not always easy.
Too many people out there openly throw their rubbish on the street like they don’t give a damn. Incredible really, but some people actually leave their old mattresses and fridges up by the heath, believe it or not. It’s completely unacceptable, frankly. Disgusting actually. Something should be done about it.
I love nature and always feel properly recharged when I get out into the country. It’s a very special feeling that’s hard to explain so I can’t really believe what humans are doing to this planet, to be honest. That’s what my tattoo is trying to say I suppose: my emotional connection to Mother Nature, if you like. No, I’m definitely not religious though I would consider myself much more spiritual than I used to be. There’s so much we don’t know about, don’t you think?
Hospitality
When we go out, yes if I’m honest, I want to be treated with respect. I mean I work hard for my money and wherever I decide to spend it, whether it’s in a restaurant or a clothes shop, then I want to be treated like it really matters, not like I’m just another customer. Especially when I’ve been before. They should welcome you back properly and be grateful for your business, don’t you reckon?
The Future
I don’t think things will go back to normal for quite a while yet. When they do I’ll definitely be going on holiday…masked up if I have to! All in all I think I’m pretty lucky. I don’t do the lottery very often but if I did win I’d spend the money wisely, not like most of them you read about. I’m not being funny, but I definitely think I have some hidden talents, as yet untapped haha! Time will tell, I suppose.
I do like the idea of having children someday, but I don’t think it’s fair to bring kids into this messed up world at the moment, so we probably won’t. You don’t need to be stuck in a traffic jam or travel on the tube at rush hour many times before you realise there’s simply too many of us on this planet, for god’s sake. Some people are still having, like, five kids and it’s not a good look is it? You know what I mean?
Finally
Yes, all things considered I think I am probably better than most people. I don’t mean to sound big headed or anything but I’m probably more hard working, a bit more thoughtful, more balanced perhaps than most people I know. Just being honest.
I am everyman and everywoman. I am your neighbour, your work colleague, the shop assistant you just thanked and even that couple standing at the bar over there. I am a brand new blend of caution and entitlement. I am the masked narcissist, your preening, dancing, digitally distanced TikToker. I am the strange lovechild of Homo-Trepidatious and Homo-Narcissus. I am the vast majority of your customers…and your staff. You’ll be getting to know me very well indeed as I intend to stick around for the rest of this decade at least. Catch you later!
Now that we’ve established that I’m better than you, please follow me on Twitter @retailfuturist for daily insights and musings.
THE RETAIL RIDE
They’re getting smarter, you must’ve noticed. One minute you’re innocently wiling away a few minutes on Instagram or Facebook, comparing your friends’ weekends with your own meagre offering, when an ad for a trip to the Algarve pops up. That’s funny, you ponder briefly, as you were only discussing how nice it would be to go back there next summer! Somehow, the geeks that live in Silicon Valley must have overheard you and have been busy converting your dreams into click-ready reality especially for you this rainy Monday morning.
Then after a few more prurient thumb-swipes an ad for a pair of swimmers pops up, perfect for the Algarve…then pumps, sunglasses and even travel insurance. How nice of those nerdy valley dwellers to care about me so very much.
We all know what’s happening here. We’re aware our data is being harvested for cash but in return for a tailor-made holiday any awkward feelings about privacy and intrusion soon evaporate. The digital world has made our aspirations come true as the real world shapes itself around us, just like your Instagram feed. Welcome to the future folks!
Meanwhile, six thousand miles across the Pacific Ocean in Beijing, those future-hungry Chinese are playing with immersive experiences that take us on mind blowing 3D journeys through real life dark spaces. Forget those hilarious smart mirrors that superimposed clothes onto your reflection like you’d just landed in South Park, this technology promises to literally suck you into a brand’s story.
Imagine stepping into a virtual Nike or Adidas store. There you are on the starting line, the stadium circling around you. The music builds to a chest pounding crescendo until…crack, the starting pistol fires the horizon toward you at blistering speed. As the crowd roars the lights drop and the music changes gear to take you actually inside the machine that makes these bad boys. In 3D close up you get to see exactly how they were conceived, developed and engineered to improve your life. These special edition sneakers are numbered, signed by your hero and revolving three inches from the tip of your discerning but athletic nose. Swipe your thumb and they are yours.
So our city centres will become the interactive showrooms for all the stuff we think we want. Much as they always were in a sense, but ignited now with technology that knows more about our desires and aspirations than we do. Marketeers once collated us into clumsy groups, called demographics. With today’s data, egographics target you specifically. They know precisely how many milliseconds you lingered over that image and exactly which bit of it you enlarged between your grubby fingers before swiping it away. They know the colours and styles you’re most drawn to, what your friends are liking and when you’re next getting paid. Think of it like this: they’ve been holding a 24/7 referendum on everything you’ve lusted after for the past decade. Scary yes, but boy will it give our high streets a much needed shot of adrenalin.
Just imagine how our big cities will develop, over the next couple of decades, armed with this magic fuel, so don’t rush to convert those department stores into flats just yet. Instead of waiting for conventional retailers to fill the holes left by the pandemic, our city centres will become playgrounds for all sorts of brands, not just fashion and beauty. Money spent on conventional advertising will be redirected towards more immersive living advertisements for products and services, including food, fitness, wellness, pharmaceuticals, music and travel. As our cities reboot, slowly but surely the age of the ‘retail ride’ will emerge.
We’re already witnessing the early stages of this revolution. Opening later this year, in and around our very own Tottenham Court Road tube station, Outernet is a billion pound development that incorporates famous Denmark Street, London’s Tin Pan Alley. Alongside 55 uber-swanky music inspired hotel rooms and a 2000 seat subterranean venue, Outernet will be home to a gigantic atrium with the largest full height 360 degree screen installation on the planet (for now)…the perfect space for unmissable big brand launches.
Technology works on a more intimate scale too. Sook spaces have been quietly popping up in our urban centres for the last year or so. John Hoyle’s clever concept was to create a chain of off-the-peg pop ups: ready made retail blank canvasses so that brands, independents, artists and artisans of all kinds can set up shop for a few days…or even a few hours. Digital walls can swiftly become the stage set for an ever changing array of things to entertain us.
If you’re still in any doubt as to who could possibly fill our gap-toothed high street or feeling a general lack of enthusiasm for our city centres, you need to spend five minutes with crazy arts collective Meow Wolf. Not only do they have the best name ever, these guys have limitless energy to transform big empty spaces into fantastically immersive theatrical journeys. Think room after room of jaw dropping psychedelic installations created by artists free from the guilt of being ‘retail’. In fact, Omega Mart, their latest space in Las Vegas, is a surreal supermarket with time portals in the frozen section. I’m serious.
As mentioned, Beijing is absolutely bubbling with tech-head outfits. One of the best known is Teamlab, the people behind some of the most astonishingly breathtaking digital extravaganzas ever experienced. Their spaces are full on immersive so that you really do become one with the digital graphics. The only question is, how long before the likes of Nike and Adidas start to harness this? On it already, perhaps?
So cheer up. Once we get past this inconvenient interlude the word ‘retail’ will have expanded to encompass all sorts of marketing theatrics that use the data we’ve been throwing at them to build some incredibly engaging experiences…made especially for us. Our aspirations will be made real as the world shapes itself around us, just like your Instagram feed.
This is all very well for our big cities, I hear you cry. But what about our provincial towns and local high streets?
Well, that’s for later…
This article was commissioned by my good friends (and loyal client) Aptos.